I think about you so often. I wonder if I see you everywhere I go.
I’ve been “out there” again – trying to fix what I can’t. But still, I try.
Then, today – cleaning out my “favorite places” on my school laptop, I came across your Flickr photos and saw you’d taken ours down. And I cried – yet again.
How can that be? You’d always said “they’re still my memories,” so how can it be that you don’t want those around anymore? How come, when, by saying I needed to go, all I was doing was taking care of ME, so that I can better take care of my son – you know – the one you want nothing to do with, the one you just can’t seem to look past, and let get in the way of an “us?” How can you not want the memory of me around anymore?
Because believe me, it may have been me that walked away, but only after you did so in action, and body, and spirit time after time, after time. There’s only so much a woman can take, and I just couldn’t take the thought of you WANTING to leave any longer. No more than I can stand that you are no longer there.
I will love you forever. And I will always compare “whoever” to you, but I hope this time to find a “you” who can be the man I need him to be.